Selfish reasons for starting this month's thread!
Thank you, runango. You saved me, once again. I have been lightly spotting for 2 days now and luckily I made a comment in Feb about that happening with pretty much all of my PP/post-mc periods so I can expect AF anytime now.
So, once I get AF for real, I'll call the RE to schedule my initial testing. I'm nervous and excited and hopeful all at once. School admin is being great about the prospect of me having to miss some time soon too, which is a huge help.
2017-05-03 4:40 AM
Wishing you luck.
lots of luck coming your way.
2017-05-03 11:03 AM
Sorry I've been absent but when there's no news ...
Adoption efforts are currently halted because I got laid off in the middle of March.
On the good news front, my sister and BIL, who I adore, just had a baby girl on Friday. Prior to the birth, I was a little nervous about how I'd feel seeing the baby but I was so overwhelmed with joy :) She is amazing and wonderful and I'm so excited and my wife is very excited.
On the annoying news that I knew was coming front: My mom referred to the baby as her first grandchild despite our miscarriage. I knew it was coming but that didn't stop it from cutting deep. I have an email written but still unsent about how it made me feel and how I hope she won't do it in the future. Kind of nervous about sending it.
Actually, here's the email. What do people think? I don't want to sound harsh or mean or have it come across as a guilt-trip.
It bothers me when you call Beatrice your first grandchild.
It feels as if you prefer not making other people feel uncomfortable at the expense of making me feel uncomfortable and that doesn't feel great.
You don't mean it to but it feels as if you are invalidating CC. It feels as if you don't understand what we've experienced or how we feel about CC.
So, let me help you by telling you how I feel about CC.
I think about her every day. I think about how old she would've been -- she'd be 1 year and 9 months old. I think about what she would've learned that day. She would be walking and talking. I think about the things she would be saying and the books I would be reading to her. I think about what it would be like to go for a run with her in a running stroller. I don't always feel sad about her now but I still miss her every day. I will always miss her.
We still go to the monthly miscarriage support group. Every month since last June or July, I have brought cookies -- chocolate chip cookies, you might remember that "CC" came from "chocolate chip." I think about CC as I make the cookies and then bring them with me to share with the rest of the group. It makes me feel better to do something positive with the feelings.
I'm not writing this to make you feel sad or guilty but just to make you aware because I don't think you are aware. I don't want you to love the new baby any less. If anything, you should love her more because of losing CC. I do. Rather, I just want you to remember CC. It hurts me when people don't remember her.
(Why haven't I mentioned this on the phone? Well, first, I don't really enjoy talking on the phone and, second, saying these things out loud isn't easy.)
I think that email is certainly appropriate and I would hope your mother would rather you tell her all of that then just resent it privately.
I'm so sorry.
Oh T. Sorry I missed this earlier. I am so sorry. I think your email is so appropriate and I hope it was well-received.
2017-05-19 12:51 PM
Oh gosh I missed this too. That is so tough. What did you end up doing?
TWW-city over here. We've wrapped up the initial testing for the RE also.
14 tubes of blood on Friday afternoon. Good think I was well hydrated and had a good lunch.
I got very very very faint BFPs last night and this morning. Please keep fingers, toes, etc. crossed for us. Let this one be the one!
I will call the RE once I get a good solid line and see how they can help with monitoring me at the beginning. They said they would and I know they can't do anything to change the outcome but it will give me piece of mind. Although they did say they would put me on progesterone.
2017-05-29 8:22 AM
Sticky forum vibes are coming ~~~~~!
(full of awesome)
2017-05-29 11:07 PM
Got a positive on a digital this morning. So I guess this is really happening.
(full of awesome)
2017-05-30 5:56 AM
Going for a blood draw tomorrow and they'll put me on prometrium or something like that. I'm still super nervous that something could go wrong but I'm going to just keep telling myself "you are pregnant today."
I guess I go here now. I had my first blood draw yesterday and go for the next tomorrow. The first numbers seem fine but tomorrow's will tell us more.
I'm staying on the baby aspirin and I also have started progesterone, which I take vaginally twice a day. The capsules are RED. You can't make this stuff up. My nurse from the RE called the pharmacy and worked something out so they have ordered white ones for me and I can pick them up tomorrow. I can't be looking at red discharge for weeks while in early pregnancy....wtf? We decided it must have been a man that made that f-ing stupid decision.
(full of awesome)
2017-06-01 8:13 PM
Yep, gotta be a man decision!
I can think of so many even more inappropriate colours...
And yea wtf in the capsules if they cause discharge. That's just stupid
2017-06-06 1:56 PM
Numbers are rising fine, I go for another blood draw tomorrow. Still not ready to get excited this time but hopefully soon!
we will be quietly excited for you
Penelope pulled up to standing in her crib!
My baby is so big!! She can also now pull herself up to sitting when she is lying down. Core strength, man. She could be a rock climber like her dad. She babbles non stop - she is going to be such a talker. and she just moves all. the. time. Can't leave anything anywhere. She's loving food - tries everything, loves everything, loves making a big old mess. sleep is so-so, but I'm surviving. Thank goodness we have a third bedroom. She and I frequently spend the second half of the night in there.
2017-05-03 11:05 AM
She's getting so big!!
Lately I spend every night in the guest bedroom since it is next to B's and I can hear him better (but yet hopefully sleep through some of his coughs/noises that the monitor normally picks up).
Whoa Benjamin is 9.5 months and still hasn't figured this out! I'm sure he can do it he just doesn't.
2017-05-03 11:07 AM
B is a little over 5 months. He is finally chunking up and getting baby fat rolls
Daycare always comments on how much he eats and how he loves his bottles. He started rolling from back to belly on his 5 month birthday but forgot how to go the other way so almost always once a night he gets stuck and wakes me up. His cold is still here, it's been nearly 2 months now of basically a non-stop day care cold.....the nose stuff will subside for a few days but the cough is persistent, then the nose stuff comes back. So over it.
Ugh I'm not looking forward to that! But glad to hear he's filling out.
Hope everything is good with you at home
My Benji is 9.5 months and has 4 teeth! He loves eating people food. We just moved to a new apartment so we are all getting used to the new space. His room feels just fine size wise, but it shares a wall with the bathroom and showers wake him up. DH had to get up early this morning so of course baby B did too.
Tomorrow will not be like that tho. Now I just need to harass local daycares and set a back to work date with my boss and enjoy the last couple months of maternity leave while they last! I can't believe how time is flying. Having Benjamin has been a dream come true and spending this time with him makes me feel like the luckiest person alive.
Oh and shout out to Callie for indirectly hooking me up with a backup Mortimer (Benjamins lovey).
can't believe it has already been that long and you're looking at a return to work. Are you ready to go back?
I feel guilty saying no because I know you guys have to go back way sooner in the states but... no! Haha I never want to let go. EVER. But I suppose he will want friends that aren't his mom eventually.
No guilt needed!
To be honest I don't know if I would have made it if I was off that long. I loved my time with him but work gave me the break I needed (I know my situation is different than most)
I feel the same way, Kelly. i love my job and work is an important part of my identity. I do wish I worked part time, though, or maybe 30 hours/wk.
2017-05-19 6:34 AM
Hey ladies - Benji is 10 months old today. We are touring daycares and I am going back to work in exactly 2 months. I'm having really bad anxiety about it! Benjamin is really attached to me. He's going through some separation anxiety. I'm not even convinced it's a phase I think his whole life pretty much he's cried when I leave him even with his dad. Anyway I'm worried he'll have a hard time adjusting. And I don't want to leave him either. I know he'll be ok in the long run and daycare will be good for him in so many ways. And we have no choice I'm the main breadwinner in our family I need to work full time. I'm just sad and dreading it!
10 months is a terrible age for separation anxiety. I promise he'll be fine (although it will be hard on you!).
I agree with Fry. You are right at the peak time for separation anxiety, from a developmental perspective. Trust us that this is SO much harder on you than on him.
It is really hard getting started with the routine when going back to work, but once you've been back for a week or two, it will feel more natural, I promise.
Thanks ladies I keep telling myself this as well but I'm still really anxious and worried about it!
I've got nothing but
how is the new apartment working out?
It's mostly good. He's going through a bit of a sleep regression while he adjusts (I think) so he's been waking up too early. Also our upstairs neighbors were hammering the floor (I assume?) at 11:30 last night. Aside from that we are good here. Honestly I don't really like living in apartments in general but we could never afford a house in this city the tiny bungalow fixer uppers are close to a million dollars and we're just regular workin folks
How are you?
What city are you in? I am always amazed with the prices on Property Brothers and when they used to have Property Virgins in Canada
Toronto. The city those shows are both in lol. It's gotten a LOT worse since those old Property Virgins shows were filmed. The new season of Property Brothers tells the tale pretty well. If it's under a million it's a fixer upper and a bidding war. It's awful.
I've never been able to understand how people can buy those. Are salaries that much higher since cost of living is high?
Not really. You'll notice it's mostly white people and I'm sure some of them get family help. Or they just have really good jobs. Toronto is chock full of people who could only dream of home ownership. Thanks I inherited some money recently and we still have been advised not to buy by our financial advisor because nothing is worth what it's selling for these days.
ok I have to share my joy - P has slept in her crib for the PAST 4 NIGHTS until 7am! the first 2 nights were 3 wakeups, 3rd was 1 wakeup, and LAST NIGHT WAS ONE WAKEUP! my boobs almost exploded, lol. I'm sure we'll have plenty of regressions but I'm just glad to know that she is able to do it and doesn't hate her crib. Haha. It only took almost 9 months.
that's awesome!! Your boobs will learn to adjust, I miss the days of B having 0 wake ups at night
That's awesome. Total game changer!
Is the crib sleeping still going well? Is she getting consistent with one wake up? No big deal if not...she'll get there.
going well enough! and the one wakeup - not consistent, ha. Last night was 2, or was it 3? it's all a blur. Whatever, I'm so used to it now that it doesn't really bother me. Sure, I'm tired, but I expected to be!
B was diagnosed with a double ear infection at his 6 month check up last week - he had been showing no signs or symptoms but the Dr happened to notice it. Started antibiotics Thursday evening and ever since then he has had symptoms - cranky, frequent wake ups, not wanting to eat, etc. Had to go back to Dr yesterday since they said that didn't sound right but they looked and it is healing and said to stay the course. I'm soooo freaking tired, it is like back to when he was a little baby and barely slept. I know this is just temporary so I'm powering through but gosh I need more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time.
oh poor B, and poor mom. I hope you get some more sleep soon and that B feels better. ugh a sick baby is the worst.
Sorry. DD had a lot of ear infections. And of course the antibiotics cause tummy upset so you're dealing with that too. Hope you can get some sleep soon!
Oh no! I hope he gets better really soon!
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