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- - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-06-16 7:07 AM
:happy: Post
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-06-16 7:12 AM
Woke up today free from the stress of that job, no need to be checking in from home, no stress and anxiety of the days at work, no more having to talk myself into getting out of bed to go to work.:grin: I will miss a few of my colleagues but overall I will not miss the job. Excited for my new adventure, working part time for an employ friendly small company and doing more run coaching.
I am hoping this will help everything overall in life, DH has been stressed too but hoping removing my big stress and improving my mental health will help him too. O and I have our summer list of fun things to do.
Parent - - By newfmrs Date 2017-06-16 7:57 AM
Is the new part time job in the same field or something new?  I hope that these changes improve everything else in life!  Anything cool on the summer list?
Parent - - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-06-16 8:03 AM
Same field but less clinical and more program development and education for an independent program that is growing an expanding international. Lots of beach time, picnics, bike riding, O wants to find a new playground and train for a kids triathlon. Adding to it daily.
Parent - By tritri Date 2017-06-16 9:52 AM
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2017-06-16 10:46 AM
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2017-06-16 7:43 AM
I have a question about "best friends". Are you close in age with your best friend? Is that person male/female? Is that person related to you in any way? For those of you that are best friends with your mother at what age did you realize she was your best friend? I am asking because I've seen it where someone (in this case another athlete friend) has said that someone related to them are their best friend. And I get that for those where the people in question are both adults. I fail, however to understand how/why, an adult would label their minor child their best friend. Isn't it the job of the parent to be a PARENT and not a best friend (when the child is growing up I mean)? And how is the relationship really a best friend relationship when in reality the adult really can not nor should they discuss every aspect of their life with their child best friend?  Isn't the role of best friends a relationship where you should be able to discuss anything with the other person? Or am I whacked out/confused in what a "best friend" should actually be?
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 7:53 AM
Honestly, I'm not sure what the definition of "best friend" is beyond high school. 

I can't say I have any one friend whom I'd consider "best".  Perhaps everyone but me has a bestie; but I suspect that many people really are labeling someone "best friend" more because they are always doing things together?   On another note, unless the "best friend" label is mutual, I really can't fathom a relationship being labeled "best".   (case in point - middle school girl power manipulations)
Parent - - By ironjen Date 2017-06-16 9:40 AM
I don't have a best friend either. I did but we grew apart. I suppose I would say my husband is my best friend? I assumed a best friend is someone you talk to daily (or regularly), see regularly, can tell anything to that person.
Parent - By newfmrs Date 2017-06-16 9:50 AM
I would say my DH is my best friend too but I simply just call him my husband.  I do have a very close female friend.  She probably understands me best.  I sometimes go two years between seeing her though because of distance.  We might go months without talking too but when we do talk or see each other it's like we pick up from where we left off or that things haven't changed.  There is no weirdness or whatever.  My DH has a friend that is the same way with him.  We both feel like we could tell that person anything and I trust her opinion and that she will be honest with me and I take constructive criticism from her much better than from others.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 10:05 AM
By that definition, a spouse most certainly would be a best friend.  But I think it would be weird to introduce a spouse as "Hi, I'm Mickey, and this is my (best) friend, SO"   Though I do see the problem with "can tell anything to that person" when marriages typically have a bit of frustration & it's hard to vent when the recipient is actually the cause. : pbbt:
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-06-16 11:19 AM
I've always thought it weird when women say they are "marrying their best friend". I adore MCF. There is no one I'd rather spend a long bus ride with, or a Saturday afternoon talking. But I have emotional needs that he can't meet. Of course my girl friends don't meet ALL my emotional needs as well. I feel like "spouse" is a title that is even more honored than Best Friend. It assumes partner in crime, care giver, reality checker, laugher, sharer, fighter, and sexual mate. My BFF can be some of those, but not all.
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2017-06-16 6:28 PM
I agree. It is unfair to expect a lover or spouse to be your EVERYTHING. It is good to have a little space, and a village to rely on.
Parent - By gophergirl [us] Date 2017-06-16 8:00 AM
I agree with Mickey, I can't say I have a best friend at this point of life. I have many friends who I feel close too for different reasons whether it is the high school best friend I am still in contact with, my college roommate who I can pick right up with when we get together, my running girls who have pushed me through a lot and would be the closest to best friends by the "old" definition. I am not super close with my mom so I can't really address her being my best friend. I agree that with a child I am parent and she is my child, yes I want the relationship where she feels she can share and talk with me but I also want her to see me as person who has authority and makes rules not just someone to have fun with.
Parent - By tritri Date 2017-06-16 9:59 AM
I don't have a best friend, so I count my husband.  The down side is I can't complain about him to him.  : pbbt:  I can talk to him about everything else...   I agree that you should not say your child is a best friend; you can't go talking about your marital problems with your kid.  I think some people just like to emphasize that they have a great relationship with their child, so they say best friends, but really if they are pouring out their hearts to their child, it would be too much of a burden on the child.
Parent - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-06-16 10:24 AM
I tend to clarify my best friend with "best friend from HS" "Best friend in Seattle" etc.  Both of those would agree it is mutual.

Although I spend the most time with MCF, I don't think of him as my best friend. He probably is, but I think of him as my spouse. It seems like a different category of friend all together.

I've never understood the "mom is my best friend" thing. Perhaps it is just because of my relationship with my mom, but I don't share everything with her. And although we are more peers now than we were when I was 10, I still don't really think of her as a peer. She's my mom!
Parent - By Zipper [us] Date 2017-06-16 10:57 AM
I do have a best friend. Jim is a guy, three years older than me, and we have only known each other for five years, but he was my champion in the smiting world last year, and we got to know each other really well. We talk three-four times a week on the phone, mostly just shooting the breeze, but can and do talk about anything serious or personal weighing on our minds. He is a great guy and it's just easy hanging out with him.

The fun part is that he and T-bone are also really good friends from way back: Jimmy was in fact rather quietly nudging T-bone and me together last summer and conveniently finding reasons why he had to leave us alone together. : pbbt::laugh:

T-bone also has a best friend, Scott, whom we stayed with last weekend when we went to Virginia. They also talk several times a week and have been friends for the last 30 years or so. Scott and I have been casual friends for almost as long, and he even dated Twinzilla for a while.

So it is rather nice. T-bone and I each have best friends, but we are all mutual friends in common with Twinzilla and NB. It is really, really refreshing that the people closest to me all know each other and all get along. It seriously has taken a load off of me to not have to compartmentalize everything.

And yes, best friends should be able to talk about anything.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 8:11 AM
Anyone have a solar roof?   I'm trying to see if the net cost really is a wash vs. conventional roof.   The house we are negotiating needs a total roof replacement & I like the idea of a solar roof, provided the cost isn't too ridiculous, and the ROI on the difference is within 7-10 years.
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2017-06-16 8:49 AM
DH priced the Tesla solar roof yesterday.  It was something like $88K for a "standard sized" house with a $24K federal rebate so $64K.  With our less than $200/month electric bill, the ROI was a long time.  But the roof is warranted for the life of the house or infinity.  I didn't do side by side calculations of a standard roof needing to be replaced every 15-20 years because the original outlay right now is not something I'm entertaining (although it would be REALLY cool!).
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 9:24 AM Edited 2017-06-16 9:30 AM
I didn't realize the tesla roof warranty is "infinity"  :shocker!:

Here's the Tesla calculator...
Parent - - By spccer6 [us] Date 2017-06-17 7:02 AM
The tiles warranty are infinity.  Everything else (water tightness, powerwall, etc.) seems to be 30 years.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-17 2:03 PM
30 years is 1.5x - 2x a "normal roof"    though I'm surprised the powerwall battery is 30 year warranty.  Even my products don't warrant a battery after 20 years, and we have special battery chemistry to not break down for that long.   If something longer existed, I'm pretty confident we'd be using it already as our industry tends to be the bleeding edge of that technology niche.
Parent - By spccer6 [us] Date 2017-06-17 6:20 PM
Entirely possible I misread.
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-06-16 9:44 AM
I know a lot of people who have solar panels but not a solar roof. You'd want to re-roof before putting the panels up, so you don't have to take them down to reroof for a long long time.  My parents, who have high electric needs because of the greenhouse, still get a rebate in the summer (when the sun is stronger and the greenhouse doesn't need as much heat) and pay in the winter, but year round it is a wash.  Other friends of ours basically have "free" electricity and are getting money back every month.  We've talked about it, but don't have the cash for the initial installation.
Parent - - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 9:56 AM
The roof on the new house needs to be fully ripped off & re-done, and we were also considering adding on some small additions (covered porch, etc) that will also require gutting the roof.  Ideally, if we did it, this would be the time to do so, or wait another 15-20 years until it needed another replacement.  Hence, a solar roof is a viable option, if the financials work out.   (According to Tesla, it would be a small fortune, but would pay off nicely over 30 years, and I'm guessing the ROI would end up around 15 years, when the generated costs offset the expenditures (based on the calculations at for estimated production over a calendar year)

This is definitely an interesting idea, especially the Tesla roof, as they transfer the warranty to the new owners (stays with the roof)
Parent - - By reebs (chicken whisperer) Date 2017-06-16 11:20 AM
That's cool. I didn't know about the Tessla roof. I wonder what something like that would cost for my small house. And if it would be worth it in Seattle.
Parent - By Mickey [us] Date 2017-06-16 11:31 AM
The two links I posted above - the tesla link will tell you what your roof would cost, you enter your address (check the square footage of the roof, it was over by > 15% on the house I checked), and it does some magic math.   The government website estimates the wattage generated and can help you understand monthly $ based on that.

The Tesla roof is very new, they just started installing this month.
Parent - By Arimathea [us] Date 2017-06-16 4:38 PM
Solar panels on a conventional roof.

I would say if you break even within 7-10 years it would probably be worth it.
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